Writing is therapeutic, it allows for accountability, it puts dreamy thoughts into a form that is tangible and recorded.
As you may or may not know; the past seven months have been challenging for me in a variety of ways. The over-riding challenge has been the fact that I'm in the dying embers of the divorce process with a women I am parenting three daughters with. This idea is accompanied by every possible emotion, mostly of the blues hue. There are moments of clarity and joy, but somehow grief always returns. Though its power is diminishing, the song of sorrow is always playing in a small room somewhere in my mind. It represents a lost dream, a lost vision, a failure, and/or the inability to foresee personal short-comings, preventing compassion and joy from being the main theme of the failed relationship.
This dissolving of a partnership is compounded by the relenting of ownership of my house the the bank, and the loss of my job. All of these things are happening right now. My primary bank-account is negative five hundred something dollars last I checked a week ago. My secondary account is negative two hundred last I checked. I receive three hundred seventy or so from unemployment every week. This is enough to buy food for my girls and I and support the ex.
I watch the girls every weekend. Now I'm sitting here typing. The older girls are at a friends house and the little one fell asleep for a nap. It's not as if I'm always lazy, though particularly so today. Spring is right around the corner, but it's too cold to fully relax with the breeze.
This house is an anchor to a lost battle, it's a ghost town of lingering family unity. Sounds depressing, I promise, I'm not always this glum. In fact;
The reason I'm writing this particular post is to flip the script. I have approximatly a year before the bank actually takes the keys to my house. There is a lot I want to accomplish before them. The only task that really relates to the building that is currently my home, is to get all my stuff out in a strategic fashion.
The remaining items are all about lifestyle design. Yeah it's a buzz-word, but it's exactly what I need to do. I need to figure out exactly what will provide me with some joy and money and get to it.
That's why I'm calling it My 365 Day Personal Challenge.